ALIAS Love Story: Section Three

Concierge: Checking in?
Will: Yeah, course. I'm here, she's here, we made it.
Concierge: And you are?
Sydney: We're the next big thing.

SO BAD ITS GOOD. This season is like a train wreck that I couldn't stop watching. A lot of people gave up this season, it turned out to be one of my favorites. I think it's the Jack and Sydney dynamic and how it grows. I hate that blonde bitch though. And its funny as hell, so I'll probably end up putting quotes throughout.

The Two (3.01) - This is by far the most painful episode of Alias to watch...Prophet Five included. There's a DVD extra where JG talks about how hard it was to film and the director says cut and she starts crying between takes. So Sydney wakes up two years after the fight with Allison and everything is different. Vaughn is married, Dixon is director of the LA office, Marshall and Carrie are pregnant, Sloane is a humanitarian, the Covenant is the new threat, and Jack has been in jail for a year, although she gets him out.

Sydney: Well all I said was I couldn't talk about it.
Jack: Which of course has only peaked his interest.
Sydney: What peaked his interest was hearing Simon Walker call me Julia and then kiss me like his prom date.

A somewhat surprising and important development is that Jack allied with Irina to help him figure out what happened to Sydney...so apparently their relationship is peachy again. He contacts her and at the end of their conversation she says miss you and he definitely says it back. Remember when you called her disarming? Yeah...

Sydney: The last thing I want is to be responsible for driving a wedge between Vaughn and Lauren.
Jack: That is a concern I do not share.

A Missing Link/Repercussions (3.04/05) - Ahh, here we are. "I Almost Died: Part Three". Sydney stabs Vaughn because the dumbass gets caught by Walker's team and it makes him realize how much misses Sydney and he has that dream in the hospital...like he didn't already know.

Simon: Were you like lovers or something?
Jack: Not exactly.
Simon: The reason I ask is...if you ever get the chance, I highly recommend it.
Jack: Do you?
Simon: Oh yeah...on a scale of one to ten, ten being most degenerate displays of sexual theater known to man, well Julia's like a seventeen.

Breaking Point (3.08) - Jack and Vaughn go to meet Thomas Brille. I don't think Brille is necessarily that important of a character, but I'm bringing up anytime Bill Vaughn is brought up and Brille worked with him. Irina killed Bill Vaughn, and we know now that both Bill and Irina are/were involved in Prophet Five. Either this is not a coincidence, or JJ Abrams wasted an incredible opportunity. I mean come on, Syd's SpyMommy killed Vaughn's SpyDaddy on a supposed CIA mission gone bad, and then we find out they're both involved in P5, which to our knowledge is this monster of a conspiracy going back 50 years or something. The whole Irina/Bill/Sydney/Michael/Prophet Five pentagon mess is fascinating and too good not to mess with or at least theorize about. I know I said I wasn't going to...I lied.

Conscious (3.09) - Lindsay needs to cover himself after he nearly killed Sydney so he blackmails Sloane into hiring a hitman to kill her. This is when we find out for sure that Sloane does in fact have an endgame...and also that Robert Lindsay is the dumbest fictional character on the planet. Come on Lindsay...did you really expect to tie up your loose ends by informing Arvin Sloane that you were one of his? I guess that's the question you were asking yourself just as you realized you paid for your own hitman.

Will: I tell you what. We're gonna get four bottles of champagne and I'm going to tip you like I ordered five. You know what I mean? You do don't you? You cheeky little bastard. Cheers.

Full Disclosure (3.11) - We finally find out what happened in those missing two years, but yeah right Dixon wouldn't tell her what happened. That whole twist that was thrown in there made no sense at all and sort of ruined it for me. Anyway, she was being held by the Covenant, being brainwashed to be Julia Thorne, and ended up working for the CIA as Julia Thorne and a double again, but this time inside the Covenant. Only she didn't want to remember it or what she did with the DNA that was supposed to make her love child with Rambaldi, so she erased her own memory. I think this last part about the DNA is especially crucial because it brings back the prophecy from season one, "...signs that she will be the one to bring forth my work...this woman will render the greatest power...". Also, I'm not entirely sure that this won't come into play later, because now Sydney actually has a kid. I know its Michael's, but is it really...and even if it is, can we be sure that there isn't some other Rambaldi prophecy that he's involved in?? And Lazery also mentions the Passenger for the first time right before Lauren kills him.

Oleg: Your name is Julia Thorne.
Sydney: My name is Sydney Bristow you ugly bastard.

Ding Dong, the bitch is bad. You knew it all along right? Me too. But I was, like, scared that she wasn't. I just figured it was too obvious. Part of me wanted her to not be bad and Michael to just leave Lauren for Syd all on his own. But whatever, I hate her.

Crossings (3.12) - This is the first time since Sydney's been back that Vaughn verbally expresses his feelings that Sydney is the only one for him. Um...YAY! It's also probably my favorite Alias episode...ever. It may be the Vaughn thing, it may be the Damien Rice song at the end...don't really know, don't really care.

While Sydney's in North Korea, its the first time we see one of Irina's sisters, Katya, and we first hear of her other sister, Elena Derevko, who gets important later. Also, Katya's real name is Ekaterina, which is just too close to Irina for my taste...mix it up!

Cole: But in the mean time may I suggest, and this is just a suggestion, that you put the kabash on your husband's extra curricular sextivites.

Blowback (3.14) - We find out that Sloane had an affair with Irina, and even though he's a disgusting pig, I have to applaud his ability to manipulate people. He knows full well he's not Sydney's father and that he has another daughter, but damn it's working well to make the shrink think its possible.

Taken (3.16) - At the end of Taken, Jack figures out that Lauren is the mole, although he can't prove it for a while, when he hears both Sark and Lauren use the phrase, "not if I see you first, love."

The Frame (3.17) - The Passenger resurfaces in what turns out to be faulty intel indicating that the Passenger is a bio-weapon. We know its actually Nadia Santos, Sydney's sister as she becomes so fond of telling us. It gets just about as annoying as the tagline from season one.

Michael: Whether or not you or Sydney believe me, I know the life that I'm living and I know the woman I am married to. Lauren is not Irina and I am definitely not you.

Unveiled (3.18) - Michael finds out about Lauren after he makes an ass of himself to Sydney and Jack...good job buddy.

Vaughn: I should have known.
Sydney: We should talk to Dixon and figure out a way to handle this.
Vaughn: Oh I know how to handle this.
Jack: You will act like nothing's changed.
Vaughn: Okay what's Plan B cause that's not gonna happen.

Jack finds out that Sloane had an affair with Irina and decides not to help him get out of what's coming to him. Although I'm confused as to why he's helping him to begin with. Come on, Jack...if anyone's above being manipulated by Sloane, its gotta be you.

Hourglass (3.19) - We find out, what I think is the entire point of season three, and JAbrams just decided to dance around the issue, that Sydney has a sister who has the genes of none other than Arvin Sloane, and she is The Passenger. Sydney also finds out what Jack already knows, that Sloane had an affair with Irina. We also see just how much of a psycho Sloane is, in that he's willing to risk is life in his quest for all things Rambaldi. You just put a whole lotta faith in a man who despises you dude.

Sydney: It's also possible that my sister is an innocent victim.
Jack: With Arvin Sloane and Irina Derevko as parents? I don't think so.

Blood Ties (3.20) - Although we don't get it in quite as cool a way, we learn that Rambaldi prophesied that Nadia, aka Sloane's spawn, would serve as a direct conduit to him. So now we know why the Passenger and the Chosen One are important. Sydney meets her sister for the first time, and at the end, the connection between the Chosen One and the Passenger is revealed. "The Passenger and the Chosen One will battle, neither will survive." That is so not what happens, nor is it what the prophecy says when they bring it up in season four, but whatever, you get the idea.

Its also time for our next installment in Vaughn's "I Almost Died" series. This one is a little minor, sort of like 3 1/2, but we'll round up and call it part four. Lauren and Sark kidnap, torture, and nearly kill him with the Inferno Protocol...whatever the hell that is.

Resurrection (3.22) - Vaughn kills that ugly blonde bitch, but not before the part five of...you guessed it, "I Almost Died". Just when he's about to get sweet revenge another Derevko reaks havoc on another Vaughn when Katya stabs Vaughn and leaves him for dead. Seriously...this poor guy! I guess that's what happens when you marry a "vicious homicidal double agent".

I loved this season finale, but I've gotta put some stipulations on that statement. First, it was a tad anti-climatic again, although not to the extent of season two, but it felt the same in the aspect that the seasons don't transition smoothly. They resolve whatever they need to resolve and then the cliffhanger goes in a completely different direction. But the shit got me. When Lauren was saying all that stuff about people controlling her and Sydney my mind was racing about all the possibilities that could come from that dealing with project Christmas and whatnot. Her mentioning Irina was just a sidenote I thought. Imagine how pissed I was when the actually sidenote was revealed. Damn it.

Michael: (referring to Sark's nose) I think I broke it.
Sark: Clearly.